Dating Magic: Personality and the Language of Color

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You are perfectly coiffed from a black pinstripe designer suit down to a stylish French manicure. The plan for the morning is to review your notes for the meeting in order to gain complete composure. While savoring your cappuccino, you just happen to notice an impeccably dressed, attractive man at the adjacent table and he has definitely noticed you. What transpires in the next ½ hour is an engaging repartee that culminates in an exchange of phone numbers. That evening he calls to ask you for that dreaded, yet exciting, first date. As many women know, the first thought after accepting an invitation is, “What shall I wear?”

The answer to that age old question is a complex one. The critical questions to ask are, “What do I want to project to this man” and “What facets of my personality do I want to reveal in our first meeting?” As career women, we are quite familiar with professional attire-colors, style etc. It is common knowledge that a dark suit with the occasional personal touch such as a red bag or shoes, projects competence, self-confidence and a woman who’s in complete control. But is that what you want to display on a date? Depending on your answer, it may be time to examine your decision making process to maximize your appeal in the dating arena. Many people are not aware of the profound effects that color can have not only on your level of comfort but on the messages one portrays to others.

In describing the effects that particular colors create in our lives, the French painter Paul Gauguin stated, “Color! What a deep and mysterious language, the language of dreams.” Not only does color have a language of its own, but there is a complex relationship between that language and aspects of a person’s personality. The kaleidoscope of colors we choose to wear on a date can be effectively used to transmit various parts of our personalities. To enhance her mystery and keep a man guessing just a bit, a woman can slowly reveal her feelings by the color palette she chooses.

So let’s attempt a bit of fashion therapy that can take you from stylish to sassy, edgy and alluring in short order. The goal is to allow your personality to shine through without overpowering your date and distracting him from the “real” you. Keep in mind that when you open your front door, his eyes will be focused on you, and first impressions are lasting, so it’s important to choose colors wisely. For example, one choice that is always a stunner is the well accessorized little black dress with its splendor, simplicity, and pizazz. The color black can stop a man’s heart at a fifty paces and may trigger his wildest fantasies. It communicates elegant boldness with a hint of magic and mystery. Be prepared to walk a bit on the wild side when wearing black.

However, if you are more on the reserved side and want to communicate that you can be more open with the right signals from him, there are other color choices that clearly communicate this message. To convey a soft feminine message, pastels are the key. Blush pink or mint green, for example, are like a whisper from a warm breeze. With these colors, you are telling him that “I love being a woman and I’m comfortable with romanticism, therefore I can be really comfortable around you with the right amount of caring.”

The color white has always symbolized purity and innocence but it also has an air of being playful and dreamy at the same time. This might be a great choice to wear for a casual but romantic occasion. At the opposite end of the spectrum is bright red that immediately draws attention in a dating situation. It exudes excitement and energy as well as a bit of danger. So if you really want to arouse your date’s emotions from 0-60 in 30 seconds, red is the color you would choose for that first night out.

Green is a dazzling color that reminds others of forests, grass, and all things natural. It is perceived to be the color of tranquility and freshness and has a way of conjuring peaceful emotions allowing both parties to feel relaxed on a date.

There are many choices to consider when planning a romantic encounter when one recognizes the power of color. The colors you choose subconsciously gives a man clues about how a woman perceives herself as well as how she wants to be approached. The right color goes a long way in allowing you to be who you are in that moment and to feel comfortable as well as alluring.



Laura Schultz is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and freelance writer in Los Angeles, CA. If you are interested in more information, you may contact her at www.lauraschultznow.com